Variations on a Theme
by Mediancat
Summary: So what happened at the meeting between Angel and Buffy in season 6? And which Buffy are we talking about, anyway?
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This may be the most crossovery non-crossover you're ever going to see. This is an old fic I began years ago, and only now decided to finish.

Disclaimer: Angel and Buffy and Buffy and Buffy and Buffy and the villains were created by Joss Whedon. Buffy, Buffy, and Buffy were created by me.

X X X X X

"Do we have it?"

"We have it."

"Well, alright. This is gonna bring us a lot of money. Is it secure?"

"As secure as something like that CAN be. I think a couple of waves got off, though."

"Yeah, I noticed the first one. But you say two?"

"Second one was more concentrated. If we hadn't had these amulets, who knows what would've happened? I dunno about you, but the idea of spinning through infinity doesn't appeal to me."

"Me either, Kurowski. Now all we gotta do is _move _the creature. So . . . any ideas on how we can do that?"

X X X X X

Damn, damn, damn. He was late.

And this was the last thing he wanted to be late for. To see her again -- to touch her, only for a moment --

She was alive. _Alive_.

And then as he barreled out of town there was that boy being assaulted by the vampire -- and he wasn't going to let a teenager die just to make sure he got down to see Buffy five minutes faster.

Also, it's not like she was going to stand there, look at her watch, and head back to Sunnydale in four minutes.

When Willow had been there last May -- when she'd come up to tell him Buffy had died -- he'd been angry. Furious. Not at her, and certainly not at Buffy, but at those damned Powers That Be for letting him shuffle off to Pylea when he could have been down in Sunnydale helping protect Buffy from that goddess wannabe. He'd been so angry he'd gone off around the world, eventually winding up in a Buddhist monastery that wasn't quite as it seemed.

Just once, he would have liked to visit a place that was as it seemed. A restaurant that wasn't secretly a demon headquarters. An office building where they just sold insurance. A hospital where all they did was cure the sick, not steal their body parts. And so on.

Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be his destiny.

At least he knew about this place going in. Santa Carolita, a town about halfway between LA and Sunnydale, wasn't quite the magnet for weirdness either of those two were, but served as a convenient stopping point for demons on the way from one to the other. The place wasn't quite abandoned, but it was a shadow of its former self. There were as many abandoned buildings as there were active ones.

He'd heard there was a sizeable "underground economy," but at this point he'd have let Dracula stroll by as long as he wasn't bothering anyone.

The major landmark in Santa Carolita was a magnificent abandoned train station -- a giant marbled structure that looked like it should have been built a hundred years ago, not twenty-five. They were meeting out front; the area for blocks around Vampires and other assorted demons tended to hang about inside, but he and Buffy weren't going inside. He parked his car and began to walk there.

Hmmm. The town seemed oddly quiet. Even with the more than usually active night life, he should have seen someone, in the windows if nowhere else. But the way Santa Carolita was tonight, it was like everyone had moved out ten minutes ago. And he didn't think the whole town was being thoughtful enough to give him and Buffy some quiet time.

Speaking of -- "Buffy!" He shouted. No answer. "Buffy! Where are you?"

He felt an arm around his throat, then he was pulled into an alley. After about thirty feet, he broke free and spun around.

It was her. Buffy. Dressed all in black and looking somewhat battered, but it was her. Before he could even begin to embrace her, though, she slapped him and said, "Are you out of your mind? Are you _trying _to let the enemy know where I am?"

Now he was confused. "Enemy?"

She sighed. "This is not the time for a brain freeze. I love you, you know that, but this is too dangerous to be taken lightly. I only agreed to this meeting because you said you had important information for the resistance, and -- get down!"

A jeep drove by the end of the alley. Instinctively, he'd ducked on hearing Buffy's words, so he didn't get a good look at the occupants. The thousand-watt flashlight aimed at his eyes didn't help matters much, either.

Who was that and why would Buffy be trying to avoid them? And what was that about resistance?

He heard the jeep stop, followed by "They're down there! Get them!" The voice was crisp and military. Had the army come to take some kind of revenge, or . . .

An elbow in his side interrupted his thoughts. "You wanna stand there, or do you want to live?" Buffy said. "Up." And then she climbed up a fire escape.

A bullet narrowly missing him convinced Angel to follow her up, though before he dodged into the house she snuck a quick look at the soldiers.

There were four, but he didn't get much beyond that because of their uniforms. Sixty years had only brought about quite a few changes . . . but the armband on the sleeve was still there.

The one with the swastika.

X X X X X

"What about the truck? Is that big enough?"

"The truck's plenty big. It's how we get the Hopper onto it that's the problem."

"It's not that heavy. I think between the two of us we could pick it up --"

"You ever tried to pick up an angry cat? This'd be about fifty times worse. Only thing those restraints do is stop it from shifting and clawing us to death."

"We need the Crocodile Hunter."

"Yeah. Too damn bad I forgot to ask him to come along, ain't it?"

X X X X X

She didn't know what was wrong with Angel.

First he called and said he had some papers the Resistance might find useful -- and then when he finally shows up, five fucking minutes late (and he should know better than to be as much as a minute late when it came to keeping clear of the Germans) -- and then he acted clueless.

He wouldn't have wasted her time. And this was Angel. She was certain. The official German policy was that magic didn't exist -- and even their unofficial Reichsmagier weren't nearly up to the level of the Resistance's wizards. Since they would have had a hard time coming up with a convincing doppelganger, the Germans would have found it impossible.

That was pretty much the only thing they had going for them. The other good news was that the vampires and demons weren't happy about the concept of a repressive government, either. Saying they and the Americans were allies was ridiculous. But you handled the greater evil first.

Angel served as a good go-between. He moved easily between both worlds. And he was reliable.

Usually.

On to the problem at hand. Buffy had brought few weapons with her, the better to move quickly. Certainly nothing she could use to take down four soldiers quickly. And Angel didn't usually come armed.

It would have been a great time for him to start, though.

X X X X X

"Nazis?" Angel asked as they ran for the rooftop.

"Well yeah," Buffy said. "Who else were you expecting?"

"Nazis . . ." he repeated. "What the hell are they doing in California?"

"Trying to take over the last free nation in the world," Buffy said. "And they've damn near succeeded."

"Nuclear bombs not enough of a deterrent?"

"Nuclear what?" Buffy said. "Never mind. We have to get ready for them. Fight or flight?"

Angel could hear the soldiers coming up the stairs behind them. If he remembered correctly, there were four of them. He could figure out what was going on after he made sure he wasn't going to get shot. "Will they be expecting us to run?" Buffy nodded. "Then fight."

A few seconds later, the first soldier kicked open the door and saw Buffy standing across the rooftop, hands at her sides. "I give up," she said. "Please, please don't kill me!"

The soldier raised his rifle for a second and stepped out from the doorway, followed by another and then a third.

That's when Angel jumped them from above. He tackled two of the Nazis as Buffy drew a pistol and calmly shot the third in the face.

If anything had been needed to settle the question, that had. The Buffy he knew would have never killed a human except under much greater provocation. Knocking their heads together as hard as he could, Angel left his two victims unconscious and spun to take on the fourth soldier --

Who had his rifle leveled at the both of them. He had the advantage, and he knew it. He smiled --

And that hesitation was his downfall. Someone charging up the steps behind him slammed into his back, sending him and his rifle flying. Buffy caught the rifle and Angel caught the soldier, knocking him cold with one punch.

Then they both looked towards the rooftop entryway for their rescuer. She was a blonde woman wearing a light green cutoff shirt and purple pants with something black tied around the waist. "Heya," she said chirpily. "Looked like you guys could use a little rescuing, and I dunno you but I figure the sitch has to be the guys with the guns are the villains." She looked at her hands. "And I didn't even break a nail." There was something oddly familiar about her . . .

And then Angel had a horrible suspicion. "Thanks for the save . . .?"

As he'd feared, the young woman answered, "Buffy Summers. And you?"


	2. Chapter 2

So that's not going to work."

"Friggin' brilliant observation there, Kurowski. Any more wisdom to share with the rest of us?"

"Look, I'm just saying --"

"I know what you're saying. If you don't want to stick around and help with the Hopper, you can leave any time. More money for me."

"I saw what happened when you stuck your hand on that critter's horn. You started rippling like you were a pond and I'd thrown a big rock in you. I don't know about you, but traveling through the dimensions without so much as a guidebook don't feed the bulldog."

"Ripplin's all that's going to happen while we got the amulets. Yeah, we might not have the same people livin' in Santa Carolita as when we started, but who cares?"

"Which still leaves us the Hopper and how to move it. Look. How about we try this. This millionaire wants the creature so much, let him come down and take him."

"He'll halve the damn fee, you moron!"

"What would you rather have? Half of five mill? Or a hundred percent of jack shit? I didn't sign on for all this. I'm a hunter, not a teamster."

"Half. Now shut up. I need to make a call."

X X X X X 

Okay now, this was like majorly weird, Buffy thought. She was chasing some vampire and for some reason felt like she had to chase him all the way to Santa Carolita. Santa Carolita? Place didn't even have a mall!

Then the vampire just up and disappeared, and there was that biz with the dates on the 'paper. They said it was 2001 -- and that was almost ten years in the future. Merrick had never gotten around to explaining about time travel -- Merrick. She missed her "Watcher." It was a lot harder doing this gig without him.

Buffy'd've thought if being the all-powerful chosen Vampire Slayer was such a big honking deal whoever had sent him would've sent someone else, but no, not yet. Her parents were still clueless to a level not seen out of retirement homes, and Pike, well, he'd bailed after a couple of months. Turned out he liked adventure, just not that much.

Which left her trying to pick up the pieces of her life, and dealing with a school full of people who thought she was a cross between the Homecoming Queen and Carrie. She'd gotten a rep as a dangerous chick, which was kinda cool, but meant that the Biker Dudes and other types thought she was their kinda woman, which she was most definitely not.

Anyway. Digression City was nine exits back, way before Santa Carolita.

Nazis. Now, Buffy was no brain, but even she knew they'd been beaten about fifty years back, and so shouldn't've been wandering around SoCal with guns. Skinheads these bozos emphatically were not.

And now the girl with the guy she'd just saved said, "Hold on. You don't look anything like me. What are the Germans up to this time?"

Anything like me? Before Buffy could say anything, the guy said, "Buffy Summers, meet Buffy Summers."

Majorly weird? Understatement of the _century _. . .

X X X X X

"Okay, talk!" Buffy-the-resistance-fighter told Buffy-the-Valley-Girl, holding the rifle on her. "Who made you? 'cause I gotta say, you don't even come close to looking like me."

"Likewise," Valley Girl said. "And since I just like saved your black-clad butt, would you mind pointing that thing somewhere else?"

The last thing Angel needed was for the two Buffys to start fighting. He turned and grabbed the rifle from Resistance Fighter's hands, then said, "First things first. Let's take care of these soldiers and --"

"Excuse me," Valley Girl said, "But, um, what soldiers?"

Angel bit off an urge to swear and turned around. The Nazis, even the dead one, were gone. Resistance Fighter was still there, though, looking more confused than ever. "Okay," she said. "Now I really, truly need to know what's going on here."

"Likewise," Valley Girl said again. "I mean, how can you be Buffy when you don't look like me, and why is it 2001 instead of 1992?"

"Neither of you is the Buffy I know," Angel said. "I've never fought Nazis in my life, and you were born about five years too soon. Which means the Buffy I know is still somewhere out there --"

"Hold on," Resistance Fighter said. "This isn't home?"

"No. For neither of you." He looked around. "And whatever explains the both of you isn't going to be found on this rooftop. So I think we need to explore the area."

Hearing no complaints, they made their way back to the street level. "This is where I was when you came," Angel said to Resistance Fighter. But I don't see anything weird about the area."

"Yeah, me either," Valley Girl said. "But I'm not up on the magic thing. Merrick didn't get beyond the basics." Merrick, Angel thought. He remembered watching Buffy train under a watcher named Merrick. Okay, so this different-looking Buffy didn't come completely from left field. Maybe Joyce just got pregnant four years sooner.

"So what do we do?" Resistance Fighter said.

"Look around for any gateways. Maybe feel the walls. I've been to another dimension before and it's usually pretty obvious."

"I don't remember coming through anything obvious," Resistance Fighter said. Valley Girl confirmed this.

"Neither did I," a voice came from around the corner. Buffy's, of course. "But one second I was in Cleveland, and then the next --" She walked around the corner. There was a nasty-looking scar on her face. "And neither did these other mes I ran across."

And three more Buffys -- or variations on the theme, anyway -- followed Scarface.

This night was just getting brighter and brighter.

X X X X X

"He's on his way. Now all we gotta do is keep the Hopper quiet for a few hours."

"We'll have more luck with that than we will hefting this thing. I gotta say though, after this I think I'm goin' back to normal demon hunting. Less dangerous. All they can do is kill you."

"I'd like to say I blame you, but I don't. This isn't my normal gig either. I usually tackle werewolves."

"Impressive."

"Yeah, one scratch from those guys and all of a sudden you're playin' for the other team. Great record I got, though. Almost perfect. Only missed one my whole career."

"What happened?"

"It was in Sunnydale a few years back. I was stalking one, and nothing seemed any different from the other dozen times, when . . ."

X X X X X

Buffy frowned as she looked around. Several different versions of her, each one flakier than the next.

And this guy Angel. What to make of him?

This wasn't Cleveland, this wasn't 1999, and she wasn't even sure it was real. Alternate universes -- 

She wasn't sure she could trust any of these people. She supposed it was best to play along, but she was going to watch her back in case it was a trap of some sort.

X X X X X

Buffy frowned as she looked around. Several different versions of her, each one more of a wuss than the one before.

And this "Angel" was no Angelus, that was damn sure. Probably a wimp in the sack, too. And what pissed her off was she'd been heading for a wild night with Angelus until she'd ended up here. Someone, or something, in this universe was due a major asskicking.

Alternate universes. She believed in them -- her experiences with Anyanka sold her on that. Xander'd whined when she'd had to kill the bitch, but really, he could get sex anywhere, and it wasn't like there were no other demons out there punishing faithful men.

She'd play along until she found out how to get home.

X X X X X

The Slayer looked around. Several different versions of her, each with their virtues. Not a one in costume, which puzzled her.

And Angel. It was weird seeing him out of costume, but still acting all vampirey. At least he still seemed like a hero.

Alternate universes. She'd dealt with them before (way back in TALES OF THE SLAYER #41 and #46, "The Wish" and "Dopplegangland!" -- Reliable Rob), but this was even stranger than those earlier ones. Things seemed . . . Darker. More gray, less black and white. This made her uncomfortable.

Still, she wouldn't rest until she found out what was causing this and every last one of her doubles was safely home.

X X X X X 

Was there something out there? No there was never anything out there it was much better in here where she was a hero and there were friends and bad guys and Angel and everything was perfect and wonderful

Was there something out there?

X X X X X

Angel looked over the six Buffys he'd 'collected' so far. Not one was more than vaguely similar to the one he knew best.

He'd already met Resistance Fighter, Valley Girl, and Scarface, and quickly he introduced himself to a superheroic Buffy (wearing a costume with a cross on it and calling herself Slayer), an unpleasant Buffy who seemed to think his name was Angelus (maybe he was still evil where she came from? If that were so, why did she seem so disappointed?) and, saddest of all, an utterly catatonic Buffy, skinny as he'd ever seen her, clad entirely in white. The Slayer had carried her in, saying, "Of course we weren't going to leave her alone!"

He didn't want to know what world she'd come from. He didn't even want to speculate on that world.

He'd be very grateful if after tonight he had no idea that such a world existed.

They moved out of the alley into the street, next to Angel's car. "I've got an idea," he said. To Valley Girl and Resistance fighter he said, "When did you pop in? And where?"

"Hold it," Nasty Girl said. "Who put you in charge?"

Angel sighed. "If you all want to fight it out like some superhero cliché, be my guest. No offense," he said to The Slayer.

"None taken," she answered without the least trace of irony.

"I'm just thinking," Angel went on, "That maybe we have better things to do than slug it out. There are six of you - so far -- and only one of me. For all we know whatever's spitting you out isn't going to stop with six. Maybe it'll never stop."

"And this is relevant to me because?" Nasty Girl said. "I don't really give a flying fuck _what _happens to the rest of you in the long run. Live, die, go home, stay here. As long as I get where I need to go --"

"That's not very nice," The Slayer said. Resistance Fighter just rolled her eyes.

"But maybe it IS done," Angel interrupted. "Maybe you don't get where you need to go. Maybe NO ONE does."

"Point taken," Nasty Girl grumbled. "I popped in over there --" she gestured. "A few hundred feet or so. About twenty minutes ago." Everyone confirmed that they'd come in then too, although some, like Resistance Fighter and The Slayer, couldn't say exactly where -- they'd thought they were in their own universe. Still, twenty minutes sounded good to them.

"Good," Angel said. "That was right before I --" he broke off on hearing a loud voice yelling, "There IS something out here!"

It was the catatonic Buffy. No longer catatonic. Her head moved around, looking around her in amazement, until her gaze fixed on Angel. Then she smiled, a smile of desperation paid off, a smile of tremendous relief. "This is real," she said. "This is real. I was RIGHT. . . . I'm not crazy, I'm not, I'm not . . ."


	3. Chapter 3

Damn this thing! What the hell is it that makes it worth so much?"

"Use your head, genius. Look at what it's doing without hardly tryin'."

"What it's doing is bucking like a damn bronco. I say we'll be lucky if Santa Carolita ain't been replaced by a ghost town by the time we get back out there. Who knows if this damn millionaire who hired you's even gonna be paying us in dollars? I don't know the latinum-dollar conversion ratio and I bet you don't know it either."

"Naah. We got it tied down. Most it can do now is shoot off a few waves. Maybe change someone's calico into a tabby or somethin'. Ain't gonna effect us none."

"And I repeat, what's this guy going to be doing with it? Nothing good, I'm betting you."

"As long as we get our money, I don't care."

X X X X X

Buffy heard someone say, "That's open for debate," and craned her neck and saw someone who was herself, only very very mean-looking.

Angel, her Angel, told her to shut up, and she did, and then he looked down at her and said, "It is real. Why didn't you think it was real?"

She said, "They, they had me in an institution because they said vampires weren't real and that you were just a figment of my imagination but I saw you I saw you I knew you were out there, my Angel, come to rescue me . . ."

There were vampires and Xander and Willow and all of that out there and that meant she was the Slayer and she had a job to do because there were vampires to kill.

Buffy had been right. She'd been right all along . . .

X X X X X

Angel stiffened. A world where they put Buffy into an institution? And for so long that she was catatonic. That was monstrous.

Then he checked himself. No, dammit, if wasn't. If there was room in all these alternate universe for a scarfaced Buffy from Cleveland, a superheroic Buffy, and one from 1992, there was room for a world where Buffy wasn't the Slayer -- where there was no such thing as a Slayer.

How she'd deluded herself into believing something that was real in other universes, he had no clue.

He also wasn't looking forward into having to send her back. "Can you stand?" he asked.

She moved very awkwardly -- someone who'd been catatonic hadn't used their muscles for years -- tried to stand up, and failed. "No."

"Okay." He looked at the other Slayers. "If one of you would --" It occurred to him that for once in his life, he was in a large group and he was the weakest one there.

Resistance Fighter said, "I've gotta have my hands free."

Scarface said, "Dead weight's no good to us."

Nasty Girl just laughed.

Valley Girl said, "Well, if none of you will, I'll do it. I mean, it's not like it's _that_ hard for us," and moved to pick her up.

The Slayer stopped her. "No. I'm stronger -- possibly stronger than all of you put together. I've got her." Then she gently picked her up and said, "Let me know if anything I do hurts you."

"I didn't dream of you," Catatonic said. "So how can you be here?"

"I don't know. But I am. So are all of us and I don't think any of us should be. It'll be okay. Everything always turns out okay." She sounded like she meant it. Angel wasn't so sure.

"Twenty minutes was right before you what?" Valley Girl said to him.

"Oh. Twenty minutes was right before I got here. So whatever happened, must have happened then."

"How do you figure?" Scarface said.

"Because there aren't six different versions of _me_ running around --and because I'm fairly sure this is the universe I belong in."

"How sure?"

"Fairly sure. The newspaper over there says it's 2001, not 1999 --" he looked at Scarface -- "Or 1992." He looked at Valley Girl.

"And there's like nothing in there about the Nazis. So that probably means it's completely not your world either," Valley Girl said to Resistance fighter.

Angel said, "Yes."

"It isn't my world," The Slayer said. "Our Santa Carolita's a lot cleaner. And the Angel I know is a lot stronger."

"And it's not her world because you're real here," Nasty Girl said, pointing to Catatonic. "Still could be my world, though."

"I doubt it," Angel said. God, he hoped not. Any world that could produce a Buffy like that was not only not one he didn't want to visit, it was one he didn't even want to imagine existed.

"Why?" Nasty Girl said.

"Because I'm not Angelus. And you should be very glad of that." Angelus would have killed this woman a long time ago.

Hell, _he_ was tempted.

X X X X X

"What was that?"

"I dunno. Stay here and I'll check."

'Now, Mr. Cain. There's no need for the gun."

"You him?"

"I'm a him. Whether I'm the him that you think I am --"

"Quit yankin' us around. Are you guy who paid us to capture this hopper or ain't you?"

"Yes, Mr. Cain. I paid you to catch the dimensional hopper. I also paid you to transport it, and, as the saying goes, you knew the job was dangerous when you took it."

"Danger I got no problem with. It's the simple physical task of actually movin' the damn thing. I'm guessin' you have a truck nearby or something."

"No, I just have yours."

"Then how _did_ you get here so fast?"

"Teleportation charm. One-time use, and very hard to make. It's one of the reasons I'll be halving your fee."

"Fair enough. Me and Kurowski already agreed. Now, how you planning' on movin' this thing?"

"With this tranquilizer. Honestly, in your line of work, I'm amazed you don't have these yourself."

"I do. I just didn't wanna risk killin' it to get it to you. Something that'll put a thunderbird out for a week won't do jack to werewolves and would kill a Nereid five seconds after you stuck the needle in."

"This will not kill the hopper; indeed, it won't even render it unconscious. But it should calm it down enough so that it won't disembowel you."

"Good. While we're waitin', can I ask a question? What're you planning to do with this thing?"

"What do you think? If chained to our dimension, this thing can bring about a good deal of chaos . . . and I have always been a devoted servant of chaos."

X X X X X

Buffy watched and waited. She damn well hated to have to work with all these goody-goodys. Obviously she'd lucked out, being on a world where the Slayer got to do whatever the hell she wanted, whenever the hell she wanted it.

Look at the alternatives: A Nazi fighter (Buffy would have cut and run, or cut some deal); a superhero (she felt like vomiting); an absolute airhead; a basket case. Only the one from Cleveland seemed even remotely interesting, but she was still on the side of the fucking good guys, no matter how big a hardass she was.

And this Angel. All brooding and dark and mysterious. Not like Angelus; now there was a boy who knew how to party.

Unfortunately, much as she hated having to work with them, she had no choice if she wanted to get back where things were the way they should be, where the only people on the side of 'Good' were Faith, Ethan Rayne, and a handful of vampires.

Alternate universes sucked.

X X X X X

"Okay," Angel said. "We know who we are and we know where it started. Now all we need is how to fix it and get the Buffy who belongs here back." He wasn't going to let something like this take her away again. Not so soon. "The only thing we know is where some of you popped in. If you could go there?"

Valley Girl, Nasty Girl, Scarface, and the Slayer went off, the Slayer carrying Catatonic. "I can only give you a guess," Resistance Fighter said.

"I'm not looking for an exact location, just an approximate one. I'm going back up to the top of the building. Tell the Slayer the same thing -- I think she said she didn't know, either."

"I see," Resistance Fighter said. "Triangulation. Like how you figure out where an enemy base is. Or a lost soldier."

"Something like that." She also ran off and Angel climbed to the top of the building he'd met Resistance Fighter and Valley Girl on. It was about five stories high, the tallest building in the area except for the train station.

Why they'd built a train station like that for a small town like this, he had no idea. It was a beautiful building, still, after twenty years or so in an abandoned state, but right now the only thing it seemed to do was attract the supernatural. He'd had an experience or two in it. So had Willow, Tara, and Oz, a couple of months ago. Maybe one day it would be worth investigating on its own.

That day wasn't today, though. Right now, he and six versions of the woman he loved and would always love needed to figure out what had gotten them here, and send them home. Wesley or Giles, he was sure, would instantly know of the spells or beasts that could cause this sort of thing.

Angel looked down the sides of the building. Resistance Fighter was in the alley where she'd first met him, almost directly below As Angel faced the front of the building, Catatonic and the Slayer were in a park to his right across the street, maybe fifty feet apart. Scarface -- if he squinted, he could just make her out at the far side of the park. Thank goodness Santa Carolita was well-lit. Nasty Girl was a couple of hundred feet down the block in the same direction. Valley Girl was about a hundred feet closer.

By his best guess, that made Valley Girl closest to the center. There were a couple of buildings down that way; odds were what or whoever was causing the problem was in one of those.

He went back down the fire escape. Resistance Fighter joined him. "Do you think you see what's going on?" she asked.

"What, no. Where, yes." He walked over to Valley Girl and said, "You said you weren't sure where you came in. How not sure are you?"

She blinked, then said, "Wow, I think I almost got that. I was chasing this monstroid vamp -- killed a dozen people, that's why, you know, I chased him all the way here from LA --" she pointed back down the way they'd come -- "to about there, and then it was just like he disappeared. I spent like three minutes looking for him, then I saw you and you go up the side of the building and then the Nazis chased you and, well, it's not like you don't know what happened next."

During her monologue, Angel gestured for all of the other variations to join them. Nasty Girl and Scarface got there at the same time; the Slayer took a quick detour to pick up Catatonic, and showed up about a minute later.

"Okay," Scarface said. "Why are we here?"

"Why are any of us here, really?" Nasty Girl said with an evil grin.

"You think I won't try to kill you just because you look like me?" Scarface said.

"I think I'll kill you if you try."

The Slayer said, "Come on, now. We need to work together."

Nasty Girl rolled her eyes, but before she could turn the situation into a superhero cliché, Angel interjected, "She's right. Look. We came here because what's causing the problem has to be within one of these buildings. Nearby. I'm guessing it's one of these four." He pointed to the buildings. Two of them were storefronts and two of them were small office buildings. "And since I don't think any of us have X-Ray vision --"

Everyone looked at the Slayer, who finally said, "No. No X-ray vision. If I had to pick one, though, I'd pick _that_ one." She pointed to the closer office building.

"Why?" Resistance Fighter asked.

"Look at the truck in front of it. It's a fairly new one and it's not rusted out or anything. And I can't see any one of _us_ driving a pick-up truck."

As one the Buffys said "yeah" in a sarcastic tone of voice, then looked at each other and laughed, even Scarface and Nasty Girl.

"Well then, since none of the rest of us seem to have any other ideas. I say we check there first."

They walked over, and right as they got to the truck the front door burst open.

The man in front took one look at them, slammed on the brakes, and said, "Oh, bugger."

Valley Girl and Scarface said, "Who are you?"

The Slayer laughed self-righteously and said, "Dr. Janus."

And Resistance Fighter, Nasty Girl and Catatonic said, "Ethan."


	4. Chapter 4

"What's the holdup?"

"Our employer just jerked to a stop in front of us. Hey! Move it up there! This thing ain't gettin' any lighter."

And their employer said, "Put it down. I may need you. Or it."

"What?"

"Don't stop to ask stupid questions, moron. He's the guy with the money."

So they put the tranquilized hopper down -- the tranquilizer their employer had used had calmed the creature down, but it was still taking occasional snaps at them -- and walked out the front of the building.

Their employer was facing off against a dark-haired guy in a black outfit, and six women who --

Well, shit. Five of them looked like that bitch back in Sunnydale who worked for People for the Ethical Treatment of Werewolves, and one of them was acting like she was. She must've been in the wrong place at the wrong time when they were finishing binding up the hopper.

One of 'em had bent his rifle in two. Even if the one in the hospital gown couldn't do a damn thing, the other five all looked quite ready and able to rip him and Kurowski and two. And while he didn't have a whole lot of loyalty to his fellow hunter, he didn't want to see the man have the crap kicked out of him for something somebody else got them into.

"Ethan Rayne?" the dark-haired guy said.

"The very same," their employer said. "And I must have the worst luck on the planet."

Pointing to the six women next to him, the black-haired guy said, "You?"

"Yes. Me. I swear by Janus this wasn't part of some scheme to do you harm. All I wanted was this creature behind me."

"You're not going to trust him, are you?" the one in the spandex said. "Everyone knows you can't trust a thing Dr. Janus says!"

"I hadn't been planning on it," the man said. "Look. Three things are going to happen here. One, you're going to bring the Buffy who belongs here back. Two, you're going to send all of these women home."

The one in the hospital gown said "no," weakly.

"And three?" Ethan said.

"Three, you're going to let that creature go. No way do we let someone like you keep control of something capable of this."

Ethan sighed. "I thought as much."

Cain didn't like the way he said that.

X X X X X

Well, good, the Slayer thought. Everyone knew you couldn't trust the notorious Dr. Janus. He'd been one of the Slayerettes' worst enemies ever since his first appearance (way back in _Tales to Slay #18 -- _ Reliable Rob), and despite their best efforts they'd never been able to capture him. Even if this was a version of Dr. Janus from an alternate universe, he certainly seemed as untrustworthy as the one she knew.

She wished that Cyberwitch or Ripper or Lionheart were here to help -- Dr. Janus was tricky.

Still, she'd beaten him before and she'd do it again.

X X X X X

Ethan Rayne, Buffy thought. He didn't work with the Reich, he didn't work with the Resistance. He wanted a world in chaos, and at the moment that was exactly what he had.

She loathed him as much as she did anyone who wasn't working for Germany or their allies. He gloried in the world the way it was.

Even if this wasn't her Ethan Rayne, he'd do until they found a serviceable substitute.

X X X X X

Ethan Rayne. Mother fucking son of a bitch servant to the gods of law. It figured someone like him would be behind this.

Buffy didn't care which version it was. Even if this Ethan wasn't a lord of order, a kill was a kill. And it had been a while since she'd indulged herself on a human.

X X X X X

When Ethan said, "I thought as much," Angel instinctively knew to prepare for trouble.

"Buffys," he said. "Be ready. Those of you who don't know who this person is, he's likely to do anything. He could cast a spell, pull out a gun, or summon a herd of vampires."

"I do so love confounding expectations," Ethan said, and he bent down to the bound creature behind him. Angel couldn't see it clearly, and he didn't think that was because of the darkness.

Angel said, "Attack."

The two men behind Ethan moved in front of him with all the enthusiasm of someone throwing themselves off a cliff. They both carried themselves like they knew how to fight, though. One of them started to pull out a rifle, but the Slayer got to him before he had the chance to fire it and broke it over her knee.

He punched her in the face twice with his free hand before she threw him to the ground almost negligently.

Nasty Girl got to the other one first; she had a wicked-looking knife pulled out, and tried to stab him. Valley Girl stopped him. "Hello! Person!" she said. And so saying, she punched the man in the face, knocking him down and, Angel guessed, out.

Nasty Girl scowled at her and said, "Maybe where you come from," then looked up at Ethan and smiled. "And now --"

Whatever was going to follow the "now" remained unsaid. Ethan stood up and said, "That should do for the moment . . ."

A wave of some kind of energy erupted from the creature, going straight upwards. Angel's eyes followed it for a minute, then returned to Ethan.

He'd been joined by a few people.

A few dozen, actually. All versions of the hunters in front of him.

"What the hell?" About ten of them said at once.

"I'll explain later," Ethan said." For the nonce, assuming you are all mercenaries, I will pay you handsomely to attack the people in front of you."

They all grinned and surged forward.

X X X X X

These people were trying to kill her. And all the other versions of her.

Buffy didn't kill people. It was against the rules of being a Slayer. And she was all about following the rules.

That didn't mean she wasn't willing to break a few arms when she had to, though. She waded in and started throwing punches.

X X X X X

Wait a minute, what was all of this about 'sending her back?' Even if she didn't belong here she needed to stay here because here she was right and she couldn't wouldn't didn't want to go back to where she was just crazy and locked up in a room somewhere.

Didn't couldn't wouldn't. That's all there was to it.

X X X X X

Okay, if there was one thing Merrick had driven home besides how to kill vampires, it was totally that killing humans was big on the no list. And that was no matter what they were doing. Buffy thought maybe the world could do without a few rapists and muggers, but he'd grumbled and said, "That's the job of the police. If you stumble across a woman being attacked, save her. But that's not what you're here for. You're the Vampire Slayer, not Wonder Woman."

Which totally sucked, of course, but she more than saw his point, and now that she was out on her own she was doing her best to live up to everything he'd taught her. So even if these mountain-man wannabes were trying to kill there was completely no way she was going to do the same thing to them.

X X X X X

It was one of the rules of being a Superhero: A hero never attacked a person with less power, and if they were attacking her, then you used the minimum amount of force you had to. Far too much chance of hurting them seriously.

So even though she was being overwhelmed by scruffy hunter types, she couldn't use her full strength.

Half strength should be enough, though.

X X X X X

Buffy laughed. Now this was what she liked: A big fight and no reason to hold back. No minions of good telling her what to do, none of that. She put her knife away to make sure no one would bitch and moan about her trying to _kill_ anyone, but otherwise she didn't hold back.

X X X X X

It had been a while since Buffy had been involved in a fight that didn't involve guns. Usually either she was holding the guns on the Germans, or they were holding the guns on her, or vice versa; and while it frequently got down to hand-to-hand, it almost never started out that way.

Still, this was a lot closer to what a Slayer was supposed to do than what she usually did. Maybe 4-5 times a year, Buffy took a break from the resistance to just take down some stupid vampire or monster that simply didn't care that there was a war on. So she almost felt like she was getting back to her roots.

She'd been told, in the days before the War, that Slayers didn't kill.

She couldn't imagine how they got by.

X X X X X

Angel watched the Buffys fight and tried to keep an eye on the nearly helpless one at his feet.

In the meantime, Ethan stayed by his bound beast and watched the battle himself. He looked like he was ready to try the same trick again.

Angel couldn't let that happen. Next time, maybe he'd bring out different versions of him -- and the last thing they needed right now is another Angelus or two running around.

So he made a hard decision. If they managed to fix what had happened, all of the versions of Buffy should go back where they belonged. It wouldn't matter if the catatonic one was being protected, or threatened, or anything.

So he left her there. He left a Buffy behind. Doing his best to close his ears to her feeble protests, he ran around the edge of the battlefield and made a beeline directly for Ethan Rayne.

The sorcerer wasn't stupid. As soon as he saw Angel desert the helpless Buffy, he yelled at his multiple hunters to get her and threaten her. Unfortunately, over the din of the battle, they couldn't hear him.

So he placed his hands on the beast as Angel charged.

Abruptly, another Ethan Rayne appeared in front of hin.

Angel punched him.

Then another; Angel did the same thing.

He wasn't sure how many versions he punched -- there was one with black hair, one with one leg and one dressed in white robes who seemed surprised as hell to be there -- but eventually he caught up to the one, true Ethan Rayne.

"That's enough," he said. "Get rid of them. Now."

When Ethan appeared reluctant, Angel drew back a fist. "Really," he said. "There's no need to resort to violence."

"Seems to be getting the job done. Now get them gone. And if anything or anyone else shows up instead -- if I even see a rat pop into existence that doesn't going to belong here -- you'll find out why they called me the Scourge of Europe."

Ethan sighed. "Very well." And, placing his hands on the beast, he managed to get another wave of energy, this one different from the last.

Abruptly, the fight ended, and the only two hunters left were in the area were those who belonged there. As an added bonus, all of the unconscious Ethans also disappeared. The two real ones stirred and sat up, holding their heads, but didn't seem like they were going to be any further threat.

"That's better." He pointed to the Buffys. "Now them."

"I'm sorry," he said. "Them I can't do anything about." Angel cocked his fist, and Ethan said, "Go ahead and hit me, vampire. It's not going to do you any good. That was a wild surge of the creature's. I wasn't around when it started, and I can't do anything to set it right."

"You're sure?"

"Yes. Regrettable though it may be, it appears as though your Buffy Summers is gone for good -- and that these six ladies are stuck here forever."


	5. Chapter 5

"Well, you're the closest thing we have to an expert. So-- and remember that someone will be here to hurt you if you screw this up -- how would you suggest we fix this?" Ethan opened his mouth, and Angel added, "And if the next words out of your mouth begin with any variant on the phrase, 'I have no idea,' remember the amount of pain five angry Slayers and one angry vampire can inflict, and try again."

Ethan closed his mouth. The Slayer went over, picked up Catatonic, and she and the other Buffys came over and surrounded Ethan. Scarface, Nasty Girl and Resistance Fighter looked threatening; the Slayer just had a stern look on her face, as though she'd caught Ethan with his hand in a cookie jar or something.

"I suppose," the sorcerer said eventually, "That if we release the hopper, all of these -- manifestations -- should vanish."

"You suppose?" Nasty Girl said. "Let me put it this way, Ethan. Your supposing had fucking better get me home. All of these people might have trouble killing you --"

"I wouldn't," Resistance Fighter said.

"Okay, that's two of us who think the right way," Nasty Girl said. "But if the supposing doesn't get us back where we belong --"

"I know," Ethan said tiredly. "I know. Tortures beyond imagining, pain above the level man can endure, et cetera. I do appreciate your flair for violence but wish you would occasionally show some imagination." After a minute, he said, "I wanted the hopper in the first place because, when it shows up in a dimension, all sorts of chaos ensues -- chaos that is usually ended with its departure."

"Usually?"

"There are records of some permanent changes. Usually trivial ones, but occasionally people or building have been known to disappear or change significantly while everything around reverts to its original state. So usually is the best I can do."

"Then it will have to do. Free it."

"You want me to expose myself to the claws and teeth of something I had captured? Do I look suicidal?"

"Then you're dead either way," Resistance Fighter said.

"I suppose a ten percent chance of survival beats a zero percent chance," Ethan said. "So, here we go --"

"No," Catatonic said weakly. "Don't send me back."

The Slayer looked at him, "It does seem wrong to let her --" she pointed to Nasty Girl -- "run free," while someone innocent like this has to go back and be tortured."

"It does suck," Valley Girl says. "Is there any way you could keep her here?"

Ethan shook his head. "No. That's quite impossible. While it's possible one of you might stay here due to the vagaries of chance, it's not something I can manufacture." He laughed. "I'm a servant of chaos. We rarely aim for specific results. Either you all go back, or none of you do."

"Don't do this to me," Catatonic said piteously.

And it was tragic. It really was. She finally got confirmation that she's right, she finally ended up in a world where vampires are real and she was the Slayer, and now she had to be sent back to a rubber room where she got fed through a tube.

Life sucked sometimes. Okay, it sucked most of the time. But occasionally it sucked worse than usual. Damn Ethan Rayne for doing this to her. He went over to Catatonic and said, "I understand. This is a big sacrifice for you."

"Yes," she cried.

"But a vampire slayer is supposed to be a hero," Angel said.

"And sometimes heroes have to sacrifice themselves," Catatonic said. "Yes. I did that when I jumped off that tower to save Dawn." She looked up at Angel. "But that wasn't real. None of it was real."

"Yes, it was," Angel said. "She did that, here. What you're thinking, what you're dreaming -- it _is_ real. Buffy Summers is a hero." He gestured at the other five Slayers. "Buffy Summers is a hero in more ways than one." Then he looked at Nasty Girl. "Well, most of them are."

Catatonic closed her eyes and said, "Then I can be one too. Unbind the creature, Ethan."

"Are you sure?"

"You may only exist in my mind, but you're just as big an ass as you ever were. Unbind the damn creature."

"Very well," Ethan said, and gingerly moved towards the bound hopper.

After five minutes, the creature was free. "I tranquilized it," Ethan said. "But the tranquilizer should be wearing off rather soon. I suggest that none of us remain in the vicinity --"

Abruptly, the hopper roared and got to tits feet. Everyone backed up -- the two hunters scrambled to their feet, jumped into the truck, and took off, while Ethan simply ran. But the hopper didn't make any threatening moves. Instead, it started fading in and out.

Angel looked around at all the Buffys and said, "Good luck."

"Even to me?" Nasty Girl said sarcastically.

Angel sighed. "Even to you."

And the creature vanished completely.

Leaving Angel alone --

"There you are," came a voice from behind in. He turned around. She looked tired. "Do you know how long I've been looking for you?"

He looked at his watch. "About 47 minutes?"

Her eyebrows raised. "Nice guess."

"It's good to see you," he said.

"You too."

And, as they talked, all of the nonsense about Ethan Rayne and monster hunters and alternate Buffys vanished.

He had the real thing right in front of him.

X X X X X

The truck stopped in front of Ethan. "Get in," Kurowski said.

"I really don't need a ride," he said.

Cain pulled a gun. "We weren't offerin' one. Way I see it, you still owe us two and a half mill."

"I beg your pardon if I'm overlooking something, but I don't see my monster anywhere."

"We caught it and we had it ready for transport," Cain said. "You had to come and put the critter to sleep, so we agreed to halve the fee. Ain't our fault everything went bad."

"Gentlemen, we can surely come to some kind of arrangement --"

"And we'll discuss it after you get in the truck. Now get in."

Ethan got.

X X X X X

So. Back in Cleveland. Only now she was being told she had to go to Sunnydale, that there was some Watcher there whining about how the situation there was bad enough that they needed a Slayer.

Another day, another job.

X X X X X

Well, the vamp she'd chased for like forever all the way from LA had long since disappeared when she got back -- smart of him, actually.

So now she had to go back to LA and keep doing the vampire slayer thing as long as she could.

Someone had to. She just wished she had someone to share it with.

X X X X X

Willow was there, scowling, when she popped back in. "What the fuck happened?" the witch said.

"Long story. Alternate universes, alternate Angeluses. Alternate mes. Annoying as hell, and did you realize I'm actually one of the good guys in most universes?"

Willow shuddered. "That doesn't sound like fun."

"Believe you me, it isn't. So. Any progress on those three geeks who think they're heroes and have been jerking me around?" 

"Not yet. But we'll get 'em, Buffy."

"Damn right we will. In the meantime, tell Giles and Tara and all of them not to wait up. I'm in the mood to kill something. I'll be back later."

X X X X X

And there he was. "Where have you been?" he hissed. "I've had to dodge Nazi patrols at least twice."

"Spell," she said. "Random one, not an attack. So. You said you had information?"

"Yeah. It's about the Reichsmagier. You're not going to like it."

"I never do," Buffy sighed. "But tell me anyway so I can get to work on it."

X X X X X

The Slayer came back.

"There you are," the Lamb said. "What happened? Was it an attack by O' Bedlam, or the Night Mayor?"

"I'll bet it was the work of the notorious Dr. Janus!" Ripper said.

"You always say it's the work of the notorious Dr, Janus," the Capitalist said.

The Slayer laughed. "Well, this time it was. Kind of . . ."

X X X X X

"She stirred for a minute, Mrs. Summers, but now she's back into her catatonia. I'm so sorry."

"Did -- did she say anything when she woke up?"

"Three words only. 'I'm a hero.'"

X X X X X

Endnote: In case anyone couldn't tell: Valley Girl is the Buffy from the movie. Scarface is from "The Wish." Catatonic is from "Normal Again." I created nasty Girl for my fic SlayereyalS, where she usually goes by the nickname "S." I created The Slayer for my unpublished fic "We Don't Need Another Hero."


End file.
